Sex After Baby

sex after babyCue bad (like, really bad!) 90’s dancing.

Let’s talk about sex, baby
Let’s talk about you and me
Let’s talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be….

And by this, we mean let’s talk specifically about sex AFTER baby. The good, the bad and the plain ol’ feeling ugly.

How long did you wait? Or for those currently pregnant, how long do you think you will wait after birth to have sex….?

Don’t worry, this isn’t a test. While most healthcare advisors recommend somewhere in the range of four weeks to six months postpartum, it’s not concrete. In truth, it might be earlier, or it might be a lot longer – it all depends on when you feel ready. Both physically and mentally.

When it comes to sex, the majority of us will opt to use humor to talk about it. Because it’s not easy to talk about sex seriously is it? We blush. We avoid. We conceal. We hold back.

Well not today!

We’re going to say what we’ve all thought or have been thinking- and say it out loud. THINKING ABOUT SEX AFTER HAVING A BABY CAN BE SCARY!

Post birth, while you KNOW your body is amazing, you also don’t really KNOW your body anymore. Not only does it feel different and look different, there’s that fear that anything ‘down there’ is reeeeally going to HURT! Let’s be honest, we’re still a little traumatized from the first bowel movement fears after birth, let alone thinking about letting anything in! And for those who experienced tearing and stitches, the anxiety about sex pains can be further heightened. Ladies – we hear you! All of you.

The truth is, it may well feel a little awkward and uncomfortable at first – one of the reasons is your estrogen levels drop right down after birth and remain low while nursing – this can lead to vaginal dryness. So first’s things first, don’t go in expecting perfection – ideally go in after a small glass of wine, loaded with giggles and lots of lubrication! Tell your partner about your fears– let him know that you are worried about discomfort, so that you can set the right pace for you.

Of course all of the above assumes that you are both ready and raring to give it a go. Many take longer to get to this point and that’s ok too. Did you know that the oxytocin that is released when you are nursing suppresses your libido? There’s that, and then there is the lack of sleep, the diapers, the nursing, the stretchmarks you are so paranoid about…. it can all culminate to a very unsexy cocktail called ‘Not tonight Sweetheart!’! This cocktail far from puts you in the mood.

If this is how you feel right now, then big hugs from us. Please believe us, this too shall pass. Just like you feel you may never sleep again, be able to 100% focus again, or get in to those old jeans again – eventually you do! You WILL have good sex again – it just takes time, patience and honesty with your partner. Keep him emotionally and physically updated to ensure he doesn’t just feel plain old rejected.  You WIILL find your confidence again. In fact, to end on a high, many moms actually say that they enjoy sex MORE after kids. Perhaps they feel more empowered by their bodies. Perhaps birth awakened something in their bodies. Perhaps it’s all the fun quickies that you have to weave in to your parenting routine, (because you have to take the moments when you can, and if it’s 1:20 in the afternoon, then so be it!). Whatever it is, know that post birth you will be desirable, you will be desired and you WILL feel your own desires return. Be patient with yourself, and most of all, be kind to yourself!

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The ACNM Benchmarking Project Results – Babies in Bloom Best Practice

Each year, the American College of Nurse Midwives allows participating practices to compare themselves to practices that are similar in size and environment to provide a professional self-maintenance strategy and as a method of quality assurance. Babies in Bloom is pleased to be designated a Best Practice in both the Four Core Perinatal Measures and the Triple Aim Achievement categories by the ACNM.

Best Practices – Four Core Perinatal Measures

  • Induction of Labor <10%
  • Primary Cesarean Birth Rate < 15%
  • Episiotomy < 2%
  • Exclusive Breastfeeding (first 48 hours) > 75%

The “4 Core” Best Practice designation has been designed to acknowledge practices achieving nationally established benchmarks for physiologic birth. These four measures are harmonized with the National Quality Forum (NQF) and Joint Commission perinatal quality measures. Of the 278 practices participating in the 2016 ACNM Benchmarking project, 23 practices achieved all four benchmarks.

Best Practices – Triple Aim Achievement

  • Primary Cesarean Birth Rate < 23.9%
  • Preterm Birth Rate < 11.4%
  • Exclusive Breastfeeding (first 48 hours) > 81%

“Triple Aim” Best Practice recognizes practices which meet the Institute for Healthcare Improvement “Triple Aim” of improving the patient experience, reducing cost of care, and improving the health of populations. This is demonstrated by high breastfeeding rates, low preterm birth and cesarean rates, and reporting fiscal variables. Of the 278 practices participating in the 2016 ACNM Benchmarking Project, ninety-one practices were designated Triple Aim Best Practices.

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Save The Date!

date nightAnd by that, we mean your date night.

Any parent will soon tell you that once a baby arrives on the scene, date nights usually get relegated from ‘whenever’ to the ‘if ever’ category. They become luxuries, along with your hair cut, your wax, your pedicure….you get the picture.

It’s not that you don’t want one, it’s just there never seems to be a good time for one. And even when you do carve out a small window of time for a date, is there even enough energy for one?

And then there’s babysitters….

There’s probably only a small pool of people who you trust with your little one anyway and so the chances that your schedule will match theirs when you do finally decide to book a date night is usually slim.

Or perhaps you do get the date booked and then the grandparents’ car breaks down. Or the babysitter cancels. Or the baby gets sick. (*puts head in pillow and screams!*)

I think it was Winston Churchill who once said: “Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” And seriously, what parent doesn’t go a day without dreaming of some time off with their other half? Yes, we completely agree, family date nights ARE adorable, but it’s important to have time as husband and wife as well as time as mom and dad.

Use this husband in England as your inspiration. Did a lack of babysitter stop him planning a night of fun for his other half? Of course not, he simply hired an inflatable Irish bar for their back yard – complete with a baby screen TV monitor. GENIUS! And hilarious.

So, for those who don’t want to quit – and who can’t find a sitter in time- here’s four fast date-saver ideas – minus the inflatable bar!

  • Check out the facilities at your local gym – a good few offer childcare as part of their membership. Granted, working out, swimming together, or playing tennis together might not be everyone’s idea of a date, but it’s pure adult time with the comfort of knowing your little one is just a corridor or two away with certified carers. If a workout isn’t what you had in mind – look around for daycare with weekend ‘Parents Night Out’ options like this one in Vista. This allows you to go for an uninterrupted local dinner with your other half for a few hours!
  • Make it a lunch date – for working parents whose littles are in daycare, why not opt for a leisurely lunch date instead of trying to cram a date into manic evenings and busy weekends. Take an extended lunch, (or better still, use up a sick day) and have some one-on-one indulgent time with your love.
  • Turn your home in to a spa – Why not hire a masseur to come to your home after baby’s bed time to give you both a well-deserved massage in the comfort of your own home? Luxury minus the childcare logistics – perfect!
  • Get creative at home – ‘Paint and Sip’ nights seem to be everywhere you look, but what’s to stop you setting this up at home? All you need is some paint and vino, then you can create your own masterpiece at home. For those looking to make the most of their date night, think ‘Titanic’ and get your husband to draw you like one of those French girls (wink, wink!)

Have fun lovebirds! You really do deserve it.

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Summer Hiking With Infants

san diego hiking with babies infantsIf there’s one thing San Diegans are not short of, it’s hiking trails.

What you WILL find yourself short of are excuses! Because when there’s year round sunshine, there really is no excuse not to grab your shades, shoes and get outside.

A love of hiking needn’t change when a baby arrives on the scene. Sure, the thought of taking a little one along a trail might be a little intimidating at first, but with the right planning and determination, it’s TOTALLY possible! Not only are fresh air and fresh parents the perfect combo, a good hike is also a perfect way to help an older sibling burn off some of that seemingly endless energy.

With weeks of longer days still ahead of us, here’s a few of our favorite infant hiking tips:

  • Pick the Right Carrier – With so many options to choose from, it can be a little overwhelming, so please always feel free to come in and talk to our mamas at the Boutique about age appropriate and safe babywearing. You can bring your carrier and your baby to our Babywearing Clinic with our trained babywearing consultants. TOP TIP: Get your child used to a new carrier before hitting a trail – it can make all the difference.
  • Stick with what you know – At least initially. Don’t get too ambitious on your first family hike – go somewhere that you know well and where you know the terrain. If you want to try somewhere new, do your research and check if it’s flat / stroller friendly first etc. Try and limit that first hike to an hour or two – even if all is going well, don’t push your good luck!
  • Nap time – The hiking motion puts most kids in a carrier to sleep, so if you can, aim to hit a trail at naptime to help stick to your baby’s sleep cycle. If all the snoozy stars align, this nap on the go will give you some ‘me-hiking’ time, or adult time with your partner.
  • Bare Necessities – It’s tempting for any Mama Bear to try and bring everything for all eventualities, but any unnecessary extra weight is guaranteed to make the hike less enjoyable. Along with un-avoidables like diapers, spare clothes, think travel sized items for everything else, – like wipes, our ‘On the Go’ Think Baby Safe sunscreen (SPF 50+) in the Boutique, or the all-natural BALM! Baby Shue Bug spray. Don’t forget snack fuel for you too!
  • Hats, Camera, Action – don’t get us wrong, it’s always safety first when it comes to little ones outside, but safe doesn’t have to mean drab! We have a bunch of hip and trendy safe sun hats for little ones in the Boutique. We’ve even got some adorable ‘Babiators’ in store that make for the cutest baby photos (FACT!). So don’t forgot your camera while hiking.

Enjoy Mother Nature guys! She’s amazing – just like you are. It’s a mom thing!

Need trail ideas? Check out this article on best family friendly hikes in SD.

 

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