We See You. We Are You. #infantloss

Every year for infant loss awareness month, the world unites for a moving global ‘wave of light.’ A night where we are encouraged to light a candle to remember the little ones whose parents never had a chance to hold them, those who were born sleeping, and those who arrived but could not stay.

Remember.

At first glance, remember feels like the wrong word for parents to use, doesn’t it? To remember almost suggests you’ve forgotten. You’ve survived, but you’ve never forgot. You might put on an old top one day and remember that time where it was once a little snug as you desperately tried to keep your bump a secret.  You might see or hear your baby’s name when out in public.  You might sit there and wonder what he or she would have looked like at one year…five…ten, etc. However long your baby was with you for, he or she was part of you, and always will be. So yeah, remember doesn’t always feel like the right word for parents. But then again, what IS the right word?

People can be so afraid of using or finding the right words that they choose not to talk about loss at all.

Some parents can’t understand why or feel they failed, or did something wrong. So they stay silent.

Some simply can’t find the right words to express how they feel, so they stay silent.

Some worry months or years later that people will think they should be ‘over it by now,’ so they stay silent.

Friends are scared of ‘bringing it up’ or upsetting parents, so they stay silent.

And so all too often, it stays silent.

And that’s exactly why this awareness month, and nights like the wave of light, are so important. It’s a reminder to break the silence. A reminder of how powerful sharing stories can be. Sharing is solidarity. It’s strength.

And it’s not just about sharing. It’s also about asking. It’s about opening up a two way dialogue. It’s reminding wider family and friends to simply ASK. Reminding them to say your baby’s name. To talk about your child. Because they existed. Losing a child doesn’t ever stop you being a mother or father.

So this week, the Babies in Bloom family took time to remember all those little ones who didn’t make it. We shared. We asked. And we supported.

Parents, we see you. We are you. And we’re here for you. Always.

For those who believe in the healing power of sharing, we thought we would share this website that we stumbled across with you: Stillbirth Stories. It’s a powerful collection of honest interviews about loss from the side of parents and clinicians.

 

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October Free-ness!

There’s a lot to love about October:

You’ve got the school run nailed by now. #pro

You get to dress your little ones up outrageously cute for most of the month – and yourself too!

You get to eat your kids Halloween candy once they go to bed (go on, admit it!)

There’s pumpkin spiced lattes in the world again. Oooh and pumpkin pie! Lots of lots of pie! Mmmmm.

These are all great reasons to love October. BUT, the biggest reason we adore October is, it’s KIDS FREE SAN DIEGO month! That means FREE admission to some of the biggest attractions in San Diego throughout the whole of October for your biggest kids – from the San Diego Zoo to the USS Midway Museum.

We don’t know about you, but after a packed summer of fun, and with Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas costs looming, this free-ness is sweet music to our ears! You can download your free entry coupon here.

As well as all of these amazing offers, here are some of our favorite FREE family things to do a little closer to home in North County.

  • Firstly, if you don’t already, pick up a copy of Family Magazine next time you are at Babies in Bloom. It doesn’t cost a dime and it’s your new secret mom fun weapon. It is LOADED with events each and every month – a lot of which are free – so get planning!
  • October is prime tide pool season – the tides are often negative or below sea level meaning MUCH more to see! Your little explorers could kill hours on a tide pool adventure. Add a home-made picnic and you have yourself a cheap day out! Check out the best spots in North County here.
  • It’s easy to take the beach for granted when you live so close to it, but why not re-brand a day at the beach. Plan a beach treasure hunt at your local! You can bury colorful ping pong balls, small toys etc and give the big kids clues and directions from the comfort of your beach chair! Just don’t bury any important toys in case you lose them… you know, the kind that will lead to a code red melt-down if lost at sea!
  • If you love babies in Halloween costumes, you’ll love dogs in fancy dress! You and your little people will be all smiles, laughs and ‘awwwwws’ at the FREE Howl-o-Ween Doggie Costume Contest & Parade at Bates Nut Farm on October 29th. batesnutfarm.biz
  • Look out for FREE seasonal kids’ crafts at your local stores – Lakeshore Learning Store for example offers free crafts for ages 3 & up throughout October (702 Center Dr., San Marcos).

And of course, there’s always us at Babies in Bloom. We’re conscious of family budgets all year round, so we like to offer free and low cost services to parents looking for support! Check out our wide range of classes and support groups here and make us part of your Fall plans!

Happy October-ing! And happy saving!

 

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