Is Hypnobabies For Me?

There’s hypno-birthing and then there’s Hypnobabies –a completely unique style of birth hypnosis.

 

Do you know what makes Hypnobabies different?

While both hypno-birthing and Hypnobabies strive to give mother and baby a natural, peaceful birth, Hypnobabies uses real medical hypnotic anaesthesia techniques –the same kind some people choose to undergo surgery with minus the drugs. The mind is capable of some A-MAZING things isn’t it?

These techniques are from Master Hypnotherapist, Gerald Kein’s, “Painless Childbirth Program” and aim to re-train the subconscious mind to perceive birth contractions in a non-intimidating and manageable light. This is ideal if you are looking for ways to release any (completely normal) fears or anxiety you may have about giving birth.  It can be especially useful to help heal those who have had a previous traumatic birth.

Rather than simple visualization and breathing techniques, Hypnobabies recognises that no two women are the same – different, personalized birth experiences are craved.  It’s all about delivering an ‘eyes open’ birth experience, which allows mom to remain in deep hypnosis while walking, talking and changing positions. Mom is empowered, in tune with her body and her baby, and aware of her surroundings at all times.  She is not passively listening to deep relaxation and guided imagery (which we are not saying doesn’t work for some). The Hypnobabies idea is that Mom is in the driving seat – she is able to control her hypnosis throughout delivery and ultimately choose just how mobile and communicative she wants to be during it.

This level of control is thought to boost confidence and calmness, resulting in a more comfortable birth experience. All the C’s you want to hear as a mom-to-be right?

Some women take classes early in their pregnancy to help relax and gain confidence throughout the rest of their pregnancy, but others start much later. It’s recommended that couples begin their classes no later than 32 weeks.

Babies in Bloom regularly hosts Hypnobabies Childbirth Preparation group classes, run in a 6-week series by a North County born mom and all around superwoman. Check out our class information page or visit Coastal Hypnobabies for more details and week by week class breakdowns. Partners are of course most welcome and will learn how best to support the Hypno-Mom as you works towards your dream birth experience.

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Mommy Martyrs

You know when you meet someone and it is immediately, blindingly obvious how much they LOVE their job? To a point where you are envious. A point where their passion is just plain ol’ contagious?

Well that’s just like meeting Sex Doula, Vera Levitt Casey, a woman on a mission to make us believe that ‘pleasure is our birth right!’ Something we can control and own.

Vera recently hosted ‘Girls Talk’ at Babies in Bloom to get moms talking about sex after babies. She dared to say out loud all the questions and embarrassing thoughts that many moms have locked away in their sleep-deprived minds.  This opened the flood gates for some honest, real mom talk about low libido and lack of intimacy after childbirth. Because let’s be honest, a new life to worry about, night feeds and an altered alien body that’s leaking fluids 24/7, can take its toll on a sex life.

There were so many ‘Oh my goodness, YES!’ and ‘You too?’ moments in the talk. It was such a relief for the moms attending to feel heard. Validated. Know that they weren’t alone. And most importantly, that there is always a way back.

Without intimacy, it becomes all too easy to feel broken. Guilty. Distant from your partner.  But someone like Vera can help you see that it is possible to re-awaken your senses. It IS possible for pleasure and parenting to co-exist.

While we wish we could share everything that Vera discussed here – from understanding your own ‘desire style,’ to ‘solo sex’ and communicating to your partner exactly what you want (cue a room full of blushes) – there was one part of the talk that really stood out,  the part about Mommy Martyrs.

By Mommy Martyr, Vera means a women who puts the needs of all others in her family above her own. The women who makes dentist and doctor appointments for everyone in her family but herself.  The woman who fed her kids a wholesome meal but forgot to eat dinner.  The woman who hasn’t had her hair cut in over six months and whose chipped pedicure is as old as her youngest child. The woman who has no time for hobbies because her children’s extra-curricular classes, or party schedules, take up all her ‘free’ time.

Sound familiar?

Always putting others before yourself, for days at a time, weeks, months, even years, can become overwhelming. You can lose a sense of self – and even worse, a sense of worth. This can lead to partner resentment. Why can’t my husband see it’s too much? Why isn’t he helping me more? I’m drowning.

Is it any wonder then you aren’t often in the mood?

The fix for this isn’t anything revolutionary, nor anything we haven’t heard a million times before. It’s ME-TIME. It’s the old ‘fix-your-own-oxygen-mask-before-fixing-your-kids’-on-a-plane’ talk.

So you might have heard it a million times, but did you actually take the advice onboard? Or did you find a million other reasons not to put yourself first again? Thought so.

Why are so many moms programed to feel guilty about taking some me-time? It’s a recharge, not a rejection of our life! It’s remembering who you are as a person. You are not just a mom. It’s still ok to love the things you loved before kids.

Not only will a recharge benefit your own psyche, and hopefully eradicate some built up resentment, it also sets a good example to your little guys. When you take ‘me-time,’ you are teaching them about the importance of taking care of yourself. You are teaching them about the joy of having your own hobbies and dreams – and how to chase them!

So, if you can’t find the time for you, will you at least try having some ‘me-time’ for them?

To help you find a little more motivation and support, Vera has set up a wonderful online community www.MomCampCommunity.com.  Here you will find like-minded mamas and regular reminders to look after yourself – simple things like ‘Me-Time Monday’ as well as live chats and problem shares.

This community is also the place where you can find out more information on Mom Camp retreats. Imagine a whole weekend away from home. No cooking. No laundry. No referee-ing siblings. A weekend where you can make friends, share stories and get support. Because when mamas come together, there’s no stopping them! Tribe power!

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How Clean is Your Sleep?

While we were all talking about clean eating in 2016, clean SLEEPING is the hot topic for 2017. It’s one of the biggest health trends this year – and at first glance, one of the most appealing to sleep-challenged parents.

It was Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop team who kick started it off claiming that a clean night’s sleep is not only good for you mentally, but the key to ageing gracefully, staying slim and having good hair. What’s not to love?

In a nutshell, it consists of at LEAST seven or eight hours of good, interrupted, high quality sleep each night.

This is the point where all new moms spit out their cold cups of coffee laughing hysterically….. interrupted sleep? You’re kidding right? Paaaaah ha ha! Good one.

Yeah, we know. This is maybe possible with toddlers (I said maybe!) and older, but this just isn’t possible in the early days of regular night feeds. For a new mom, it can be really, really hard to get the sleep you need.

But the truth is, we all know how important sleep is for our overall health and wellbeing. And while we can’t all be like Gwyneth and have 7-8 hours every night, perhaps we can and should still treat ourselves to a clean sleep every now and then. It’s not admitting defeat or cheating – it’s RECHARGING! It’s essential.

So, if you have the full support of a partner or family member, here’s how you can live like Gwyneth for a day and plan for the odd clean night’s sleep.

  • If breastfeeding, build up a supply of breast milk in the fridge and ask your partner take all the night feeds
  • Plan to sleep in a separate room away from your baby to minimize the familiar sounds of their wake up calls
  • Get outside and exercise during the day – take baby for a stroll and enjoy the fresh air
  • Stop drinking caffeine around 4pm
  • Avoid alcohol before bed
  • Set yourself a bed time – and STICK TO IT! There will always be a household job to do. Just this one time, let it wait until tomorrow
  • In fact, set your bed time one hour earlier than you plan to fall asleep, and use that hour before bed as quiet, relaxing time, free of duties AND Facebook is tempting, but it too can wait!
  • Keep your phone on silent. And away from your bed
  • And SLEEP!

The likelihood is that you will probably wake up on auto pilot the first couple of times you try and switch off – after all, you are so in tune with your little one’s needs and sounds! But perhaps after a few attempts, once you realize your partner has it all under control, or once you have established more of a sleep schedule with your little one, you can get a clean night of 7-8 hours and wake up feeling like a new mama! Because you really do deserve it ladies! And often.

Happy snoozing.

 

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Love a Lactation Consultant!

Our two lactation consultants at Babies in Bloom were feeling the love on yesterday when we celebrated International Board Certified Lactation Consultant Day – a special day to let them know just how treasured they are in the lives of so many local families.

We all hear a lot about how wonderful breastfeeding is. While it’s easy to talk about the pros, from unbeatable health benefits to bonding, the truth is, breastfeeding can be anything but easy. Even if it all goes to plan, it’s still intense, time consuming and plain old exhausting.

When it doesn’t go to plan, it can be complex, daunting, frustrating, stressful, even heart breaking. To many new moms it can be the defining marker of their success (or perceived failure) as a parent.

When breastfeeding issues arise, the right support, encouragement and guidance is EVERYTHING.

It takes a very special person to be a lactation consultant. They often walk in to a new mom’s life when mom is at their most vulnerable. They have to quickly earn that person’s trust in order to enter the most intimate of special relationships. They have to make mom believe in themselves – make them believe that they CAN do this. That it is still possible to try and meet their breastfeeding goals.  They also importantly have to ensure the partner is fully entwined, and not isolated, in this challenging experience by showing them the valuable and supportive role they can play.

Juggling that many emotions takes a big heart, steady hands and a calm mind. We are so grateful to our consultants for doing it with such grace, compassion and sensitivity. We are grateful for their expert knowledge, their perseverance and their strength at a time when it is most needed. They work tirelessly to transform families’ lives and set them on the path they so desire in this crazy ride called parenthood.

We know how much our consultants love their job, but do they know how much we love them? How big an impact they truly have on a family home?

IBCLC Day might be over, but it’s never too late to spread the word. If you have ever worked with a consultant, let everyone know what their support meant to you and your family. Because somewhere, out there, another new mom might be sitting there struggling, doubting herself and in need of some reassurance. She needs to know that while breastfeeding is natural, it doesn’t always come naturally without some loving guidance. She needs to know that even though she is struggling, she is still a great mum, and that help is always at hand.

For information on Babies in Bloom’s Lactation Consultation visit here.

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