Think of babymoon and you’ll most likely picture a glowing mama-to-be on vacation with her partner, trying to squeeze in as much rest as possible BEFORE the new baby arrives.
But did you know that that kind of babymoon is a new thing?
The original babymoon is postpartum. It used to widely mean a ‘laying in’ period of home rest AFTER childbirth. A calming period where mothers heal and where parents take the time to bond with their new arrival alone.
The pace of modern American life doesn’t always allow for this kind of ‘lying in’ time does it? Though it is still common practice in some less-manic cultures throughout the world. There’s a pressure….no, almost expectation… for mothers nowadays to ‘bounce back’ shortly after birth. Don’t even get us started on the ‘yummy mummy’ pressure….
I mean, raise your hands if you had your first visitors within 48 hours of giving birth? Yep, us too. While it’s so heartwarming to see the eagerness of friends and family to meet your new baby, it’s also exhausting having to entertain and host visitors so soon – whatever type of birth you’ve had!
You might feel pressured to get dressed for starters. Probably do a quick tidy up. Go and buy some nibbles. Make coffee etc. And when visitors have gone, there is the clean-up to do. All on little to no sleep and in-between nursing and diaper changes.
Now, a ‘lying in’ period isn’t for everyone. We know plenty of moms whose worst nightmare would be to stay at home doing nothing – and that’s perfectly ok too. If you need to do the housework to stay sane – do it! A happy mama is an honest-to-herself-mama.
But, there are also many moms out there who don’t like the idea of having to juggle normal life with motherhood straight away. Some want to take things slowly and focus on establishing nursing, as well as building strength and confidence. You pick your pace, no one else.
For those pregnant mamas out there who do like the sound of babymooning – here’s an important PSA: BOOK YOUR BABYMOON. RIGHT NOW! Pick up your phone and block out your calendar. Just do it.
DO NOT let others guilt trip you. Even parents and in-laws. This is your time. To process your birth experience. To heal. To cuddle. To love. And to learn.
It’s a good idea to manage your friends and families expectations in advance. Message them all ahead of your due date to let them know that you and your partner would appreciate the time to yourselves in the early weeks. Let them know that you will be touch when you feel up to visitors.
And when you ARE up for visitors, don’t be afraid to ask for things. Ask them to come at a time that suits you and baby, not a time that suits them. Ask them to bring food. Even ask them to do a chore or two while at the house. Real friends honestly won’t mind and will probably appreciate being told what you need from them. While they have come for cuddles, they’ve also come to support you at the start of this crazy ol’ journey we call parenthood.