To Reveal or Not to Reveal?

gender revealThat is the question.

There doesn’t seem a day that goes by without seeing some ridiculously cute gender reveal photo or video on social media. And the reveal tactics are getting more elaborate aren’t they? We’ve gone from simple colored cake filling and confetti filled piñatas, to home run color explosions and squirt guns filled with either pink or blue paint.

Creative stunts aside, what do you think about gender reveals in general? Did you find out? Did you tell? Or did you keep everyone in suspense?

Some people are planners. And that’s totally fine. Especially if it is Number 2 or 3. It’s always nice to know if you need to go out and invest in some first time girl or boy clothes. And what about the name…if you already know the sex, you’ll be cutting your workload in half when it comes to brainstorming names right?

Some people just can’t contain their excitement. And we don’t blame them. It’s a MAJOR discovery in a major chapter of their life – it would be hard not to want to scream it from the rooftops.

Some people can’t stand all the speculation and old wives tale predictions. If you are carrying high, it’s a girl. Low, it’s a boy. Craving salt? It’s a boy. No pregnancy glow? It’s a girl. And so on. A gender reveal is the easiest way to stop all those guessing games.

But then there is weeks of gender stereotyping to think about. If you reveal the sex pre arrival, you run the risk of people telling you what little boys do and what little girls are like – for weeks on end. Some people don’t want to find out the sex to simply avoid this kind of generalized small talk. There’s plenty of time for that postpartum.

Not finding out also means you won’t get a ton of people buying you the standard pink frills or t shirts with footballs on. Some parents hate the idea of being pigeonholed. Friends and family have to go neutral and play it safe if they don’t know the sex. Think yellow, greens, greys and beige. At least until your little one makes an appearance.

And for some people, it just comes down to sheer surprise factor. Some people like the surprise. They simply don’t want to know. It just doesn’t matter.  They know it will be worth the wait. And that’s just fine by us too.

In the age of social oversharing (thanks Facebook!), it’s easy to feel pressured to spill the beans. While each couple will have a different opinion about gender reveals, only they will know what will make them happy. And that’s what really matters -not the way in which you find out, or share the news, but the way you WANT your story to go. Stay strong and do it your way!

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You Guys Rock!

winner-badgeWe won a ‘Red Tricycle Totally Awesome Award 2016’. Hooray!

We are absolutely thrilled to be named ‘Hippest Baby and Maternity Shop’ in SoCal. Thank you so so much to everyone who voted for us – you guys are the best. And you ALL need to share this wonderful moment with us, because we are much more than just a business, Babies in Bloom is a community. A place to not only shop, but learn and share family experiences, whatever your parenting style (no judgement here!). You make us who we are and that’s a big part of what makes us winners.

Some wise old soul once said: ‘Customers may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.’ And we truly believe that. We aim to make all our customers feel heard. Feel supported. Feel excited. Feel inspired. Feel confident, and just feel special – like every mama and mama-to-be should. Daddies, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles too. The whole family.

And thanks to you, we feel pretty special right now too. So from the bottom of our hearts, thank you once again for taking the time to vote for us. And thank you for shopping small. We hope to see you really soon!

 

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What is Peaceful Parenting?

Are you curious about it? Do you know exactly what it is?

For those who couldn’t make it to our wonderful workshops, we thought we’d pull together a little ‘Peaceful Parenting 101’ post.

By its very name, many people might assume that peaceful parenting is permissive parenting.  A style of parenting that lacks discipline and boundaries. It’s not. It’s simply about changing the old school view of parenting as a battleground. You against them.

Bedtime, mealtime, playtime tantrums, we know they all come with the parenting territory. And believe us, we know it’s HARD not to snap. But deep down, after many, many deep breaths, we ultimately know it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.

Peaceful parenting is all about regulating our own emotions and staying mindful of what a child feels, at all times. It’s a belief that parenting is 80% connection and 20% coaching. Not controlling, coaching. It focuses on empathy, connection and working with your child to resolve issues. It believes that punishments and time-outs just aren’t effective as discipline. They can certainly stop behaviour, but they don’t teach in the long term– it’s essentially fear based obedience. A gentle, emotion focused approach, or coaching approach, helps a child develop a better understanding of their emotions, behaviour – and actually fosters self-discipline. In addition to this, trying to understand a child’s perspective, recognising triggers and working together to resolve the child’s problem, also fosters a uniquely trusting and rewarding parental relationship.

Our workshops were centred on the work of Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist, and author of www.ahaparenting.com where it lists the benefits of positive parenting:

  • Your kids will be happier, more cooperative , and well-adjusted
  • You’ll be happier and more relaxed.
  • Yourfamily life will be more meaningful and fun.
  • You’ll raise ethical, emotionally intelligent kids who are happy, considerate, self-disciplined,responsible, and likable — without ever having to punish!
  • You’ll give your kids a real childhood while still preparing them for 21st century life.
  • You and your kids will have a close, loving relationship for the rest of your life.

Being a consistent peaceful parent isn’t easy however – it’s always a challenge to keep your own emotions in check, no matter how old you are. But consistency is key to success in peaceful parenting– and to avoiding confusion in your little ones.  So, if you really think this approach could work for you and your family, seek support, stay committed and stay strong. It will be worth it.

For those seeking more information, don’t forget to visit www.ahaparenting.com – it has tips for parents of every age child, from pregnancy right through the teen years, or contact Lisa at www.becomingpeaceful.com.

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SIDS, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

babiesinbloom_kelseysmithphotography2015printresolution300ppinativefile-29While SIDS rates in the United States has decreased by over 50% in the past two decades, SIDS sadly remains the leading cause of death for U.S infants 1 month to 1 year of age.

That’s what makes the month of October so important – it’s SIDS Awareness Month, a month where social and professional communities join forces to support families who have lost a child to SIDS, as well as drive wider, overall awareness of it.

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare to think about SIDS, let alone face it. It’s terrifying because there is still so much we don’t know about it. But what we DO know is that there are things we can do to help reduce risks. Information and education are key.

We can all do our bit this month – and beyond. We can support by sharing experiences, hard facts, advice and recommendations. Sharing, be it in person or via social media, can make a difference.

So, if you see campaigns for safe sleep practices or safe environments for babies, read it. Talk about it. Post about it. Pass it on.

If you know a new mom, or mom-to-be, respectfully make sure they are aware of the risks of things like bed sharing and loose bedding.

If someone else is looking after your child, make sure you talk to them about safe sleep practices and be sure that person agrees to follow safety recommendations. It’s easy to assume they might already know about it, but the truth is, it is a subject that’s difficult to talk about, or that many people avoid.

Talking about it is NOT about scaring anyone. Or preaching to them. It’s not about patronizing them or being disrespectful. it’s about support and preparation. It’s about empowering parents and caregivers to make the best, safest choices for their baby.

It’s all about keeping the conversation going! It really can help save lives. 

A helpful resource on SIDS is the American Academy of Pediatrics ‘Parents Guide to Safe Sleep’, available here.

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