What is Peaceful Parenting?

Are you curious about it? Do you know exactly what it is?

For those who couldn’t make it to our wonderful workshops, we thought we’d pull together a little ‘Peaceful Parenting 101’ post.

By its very name, many people might assume that peaceful parenting is permissive parenting.  A style of parenting that lacks discipline and boundaries. It’s not. It’s simply about changing the old school view of parenting as a battleground. You against them.

Bedtime, mealtime, playtime tantrums, we know they all come with the parenting territory. And believe us, we know it’s HARD not to snap. But deep down, after many, many deep breaths, we ultimately know it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.

Peaceful parenting is all about regulating our own emotions and staying mindful of what a child feels, at all times. It’s a belief that parenting is 80% connection and 20% coaching. Not controlling, coaching. It focuses on empathy, connection and working with your child to resolve issues. It believes that punishments and time-outs just aren’t effective as discipline. They can certainly stop behaviour, but they don’t teach in the long term– it’s essentially fear based obedience. A gentle, emotion focused approach, or coaching approach, helps a child develop a better understanding of their emotions, behaviour – and actually fosters self-discipline. In addition to this, trying to understand a child’s perspective, recognising triggers and working together to resolve the child’s problem, also fosters a uniquely trusting and rewarding parental relationship.

Our workshops were centred on the work of Laura Markham, Clinical Psychologist, and author of www.ahaparenting.com where it lists the benefits of positive parenting:

  • Your kids will be happier, more cooperative , and well-adjusted
  • You’ll be happier and more relaxed.
  • Yourfamily life will be more meaningful and fun.
  • You’ll raise ethical, emotionally intelligent kids who are happy, considerate, self-disciplined,responsible, and likable — without ever having to punish!
  • You’ll give your kids a real childhood while still preparing them for 21st century life.
  • You and your kids will have a close, loving relationship for the rest of your life.

Being a consistent peaceful parent isn’t easy however – it’s always a challenge to keep your own emotions in check, no matter how old you are. But consistency is key to success in peaceful parenting– and to avoiding confusion in your little ones.  So, if you really think this approach could work for you and your family, seek support, stay committed and stay strong. It will be worth it.

For those seeking more information, don’t forget to visit www.ahaparenting.com – it has tips for parents of every age child, from pregnancy right through the teen years, or contact Lisa at www.becomingpeaceful.com.

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SIDS, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

babiesinbloom_kelseysmithphotography2015printresolution300ppinativefile-29While SIDS rates in the United States has decreased by over 50% in the past two decades, SIDS sadly remains the leading cause of death for U.S infants 1 month to 1 year of age.

That’s what makes the month of October so important – it’s SIDS Awareness Month, a month where social and professional communities join forces to support families who have lost a child to SIDS, as well as drive wider, overall awareness of it.

It’s every parent’s worst nightmare to think about SIDS, let alone face it. It’s terrifying because there is still so much we don’t know about it. But what we DO know is that there are things we can do to help reduce risks. Information and education are key.

We can all do our bit this month – and beyond. We can support by sharing experiences, hard facts, advice and recommendations. Sharing, be it in person or via social media, can make a difference.

So, if you see campaigns for safe sleep practices or safe environments for babies, read it. Talk about it. Post about it. Pass it on.

If you know a new mom, or mom-to-be, respectfully make sure they are aware of the risks of things like bed sharing and loose bedding.

If someone else is looking after your child, make sure you talk to them about safe sleep practices and be sure that person agrees to follow safety recommendations. It’s easy to assume they might already know about it, but the truth is, it is a subject that’s difficult to talk about, or that many people avoid.

Talking about it is NOT about scaring anyone. Or preaching to them. It’s not about patronizing them or being disrespectful. it’s about support and preparation. It’s about empowering parents and caregivers to make the best, safest choices for their baby.

It’s all about keeping the conversation going! It really can help save lives. 

A helpful resource on SIDS is the American Academy of Pediatrics ‘Parents Guide to Safe Sleep’, available here.

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No Such Thing as a Stupid Question

shutterstock_153205205It was ‘Ask a Stupid Question day’ this week. There really is a day for everything now isn’t there?

It did get us all thinking though. In particular about pregnancy and those early days of motherhood when you had SO many questions that you were just too afraid to ask other moms, family, friends, even doctors.

Like, what if I go to the bathroom when giving birth?

Will my vagina return to normal?

Why is my baby’s poop that color?

Am I holding my baby too much?

How long is it OK for a baby to cry?

Do I sterilize the pacifier after every use?

Can I have a glass of wine if I am breastfeeding?

The list is endless. The truth is, even if you have read all the books, you are never fully prepared for the real thing. Motherhood is a never ending learning path. With every new joyous milestone or phase comes new questions and concerns.

But for some reason, many moms will be too embarrassed to ask certain questions out loud. They will spend time furiously searching pages and pages of google searches instead, seeking both answers and reassurance there. Why? Maybe they feel that they should already know this. That it is too trivial or too obvious to ask out loud. Maybe they feel silly or embarrassed. Maybe they feel that it should all be instinctual now they are moms – they should know their child best after all. And if they don’t have that instinct, have they failed somehow? They can’t let anyone know….

It’s only later on, often when moms have found their confident stride, that they realise that a lot of other moms all had the exact same questions or worries at the same time. They all just kept quiet for fear of looking silly.

The truth is there is no such thing as a stupid question in motherhood, except the one that you choose not to ask. So ask it loud and ask it proud. Always. Keep learning, keep growing and most importantly, keep sending the elevator back down for new moms and moms-to-be. Share your experiences with them – and dads too – and tell them what your own silly questions and thoughts were once upon a time. It’s so important that we club together and encourage parents to open up to us, without any fear of judgement. Because the truth is, half the time, we all feel like we are winging this don’t we? There is always more to learn and certainly many, many more questions to come.

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Remember to Check Your Car Seat!

car seat installationThis Saturday is ‘National Seat Check Saturday’ marking the end of Child Passenger Safety Week 2016. This event invites families to have their child-safety seats inspected by certified car seat technicians. And by certified, we mean technicians that have hours and hours of training and experience in operating even the fiddliest of car seats. Like Katie, our Child Safety Passenger Technician.

Let’s be honest, whether you are a new parent or a seasoned mom, car seat harnessing and installation can be tricky. Confusing. Even infuriating at times. I mean, even the likes of poor Prince William gets it wrong every now and then.

And don’t even mention the rules. They feel like they are ever changing don’t they?

But scary fact, did you know that seven out of 10 children ride in car seats that have not been installed correctly, or are in the wrong car seats for their age and size. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), approximately 96 percent of parents believe their child seats are installed correctly.

This weekend offers parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, whoever, not only a gentle reminder to go check their equipment, but also offers lasting peace of mind in confirming a) whether or not they currently have the best tools for the job and b) if they are being utilized correctly. Not to mention a chance to brush up on the latest legislation.

You can call us to schedule an appointment or find participating locations for seat checks here: http://www.safercar.gov/cpsApp/cps/index.htm – though be warned it may get busy! You’ll need your child, the car seat and the seat’s manual, as well as your vehicle owner’s manual. The technician will demonstrate proper installation and then have you do the installation so that you are comfortable and confident.

And don’t worry, if you can’t make it to a Saturday event, parents can also chat with Katie via Babies in Bloom. She would be happy to answer your questions because she knows when it comes to your own precious cargo, it’s never too early or too late for a safety check.

Note, all car seats purchased at Babies in Bloom come with a complementary education and inspection. 

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